Opposites Attract: The True Story of an ENFP Married (Happily!) to an ISTJ
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The last time we took a psychological assessment together our data analyst winced.
For better and worse than twenty years, my beloved and I have shared zip codes and domiciles, but very little else, because, as fate would have it, I fell for a card-carrying ISTJ. The only thing our letters have in common is the alphabet.
The ENFP’s Guide To Dating Guardians
We do find our counterparts intriguing, and intrigue often gives way to love. But, after the new wears off and the rush of romance has faded, you may find those differences annoying, grating or downright frustrating.
Since mariticide is illegal, we decided to find a way to work around our differences without killing one another, and we did — several of them. Here are our tips for creating a happily-ever-after even if your mate is your opposite: Not that it would stop anyone because as we all know, the heart wants what the heart wants. Still, knowing what makes your partner tick is invaluable and has certainly preserved our relationship. Once you understand how extraverts and introverts roll, it resolves a lot of areas of potential friction and disagreement.
I know that solitude is what energizes my spouse, while he understands that I get amped up by being around others. I fell for a logic seeking, fact-oriented, judging introvert. I, however, will be looking at cool spots for lunch and ensuring we brought snacks and music for the journey.
Appreciate Your Strengths While there are moments of teeth-gritting and acceptance, perhaps the greatest strategy for living happily with your personality opposite is to appreciate and embrace your differences. I brought the unit home and immediately put it together. It took five minutes. I was pretty proud of myself until I plugged it in. About that time, my husband came home to find the vacuum cleaner surrounded by an array of bolts, screws and thingamajigs.
We try to segregate responsibilities, not by gender or role, but by who is better at doing it. I know there are things I excel at, entertaining, nurturing friendships, remembering birthdays, and things that are in his wheel house. We focus more on what the other party brings to the table and less on what they do not.
Avoid Criticism As much as possible, we try emphasis on the word 'try' not to criticize one another. This type may enjoy participating in similar activities and often find themselves in the same group of friends. However, the closer these two get the more they realize that they have less in common than they may have initially expected.
Both partners are extroverted people-people who enjoy being surrounded by loved ones. Two healthy partners of these types can bond over their love of bringing others together.
The ENFP’s Guide To Dating Guardians | Thought Catalog
While these types may not outright dislike each other, they are not necessarily well suited for a long-term partnership. They are likely to struggle to achieve a meaningful emotional connection — something that is highly important to both parties. ENFP and ESTJ While these parties share all the same functions, they prioritize the use of these functions in very different order, leaving room for many potential clashes.MBTI ISTJ Dating and Intimacy
On the positive side of things, both parties are ambitious, goal-oriented and personable. Both partners are extroverted in nature and enjoy reaching decisions through talking them through aloud. They can bond over their goal-oriented nature and will often find that putting their heads together allows them to find the best possible solution to a given situation.
These differences in attitude are likely to frustrate both parties.
The moments of connection they may experience when the ENFP applies their Te are likely to be overshadowed in time through their differing opinions on most topics.
These types are both crystal clear on what they want out of life — and those visions are unlikely to line up. As a result, it is can be difficult for these two to find common ground as one would always have to be using their inferior function in order for natural communication to take place.