How do hindu couples meet

Arranged marriage in the Indian subcontinent - Wikipedia

how do hindu couples meet

Four Indian Hindu-Muslim Couples Across Four Generations Tell Us that was always the norm but some of these bias-keepers would still. They were openly protesting the idea of me getting married to a Hindu woman, they were not happy about it. They kept insisting that she should. Many future spouses in India have never met one another before they are The days when arranged marriages involved parents decreeing who would marry with love marriages between Hindus and Muslims or between Hindus of very.

Yet, amid this unbridled anti-Hindu, anti-Muslim anti-humanity hate-fest, human beings continue being human beings. And some of them fall in love. With people from another religion they have always been asked to stay at an arm's length from. We spoke to four Hindu-Muslim couples from four generations to learn how to keep love afloat in this climate of naked hatred.

Insiya and Chirayu are college students in Pune Chirayu: I thought my family was pretty liberal; my parents knew about my previous girlfriends and we'd often hang out at home with my family. But I can't tell them about Insiya.

When Insiya and I started getting closer as friends, I could see it bothered my Mum. I hadn't really thought about the Muslim-Hindu thing until one day my aunt snidely told my mom that she should mentally prepare herself for a Muslim daughter-in-law.

how do hindu couples meet

I could see that the comment really pissed her off. It makes me sad that even my educated, liberal parents could be so narrow-minded when it comes to Muslims. I know my parents will expect me to pick a Muslim guy they've already approved of. My parents don't know either. They don't approve of dating in general, but dating a Hindu guy would be an absolute no-no.

My dad is a businessman, and growing up, he constantly complained about local Hindu Maharashtrian politicians making life miserable for small-time Muslim business owners. I'm so young, I can't even think of being married right now.

Hindu Marriage Traditions And Wedding Rituals

But when the time comes, I know my parents will expect me to pick a Muslim guy they've already approved of. If we're still together at that time, I don't know what I'll do.

It's so weird that we need to hide our relationship, just so that no one intentionally or accidentally tattles to our parents. Knowing that all this sneaking around is because of the Hindu-Muslim thing is so regressive.

how do hindu couples meet

The funny thing is, we're both atheists. So we don't have any religious differences. I'm vegetarian, he's not. So he was more upset about the beef ban than I could ever be. So all this Hindu-Muslim drama is a gift from our parents, not really our issue at all. Devika is a copywriter at an ad agency and Ashfaq is a management consultant.

They've been dating for a year and live in Mumbai.

Traditional Hindu Wedding - Rituals, Ceremony, Significance, Facts, Dress

It was our first vacation together. He'd gone for a shower when suddenly I heard a yelp of "Astaghfirullah" from inside. That's when it hit me: I was appalled by how much of a shock it was to my system because up until then, his Muslim identity was a vague realisation. The day I started thinking of my future in relation to him, I started noticing and wondering about everything.

The fact that his mom wears a hijab, that his dad prays five times a day, all the times he's slip into Urdu without thinking everything was filed away in my head.

Without realising it, I'd come to expect that only fanatics show their "Muslim-ness". The "normal" Muslims don't look, act or dress like the "others". It made me keenly aware of all the micro-aggressions against Muslims that we all partake in, subconsciously.

I know enough Muslims who absolutely believe that the overwhelming majority of Hindus are basically right-wing fanatics who are out to get them. The constant persecution and hounding has made many Muslims terribly bitter. Religious differences aside, my parents feel a Hindu girl can never fit into the family because she will never understand what it feels like to have people look at you suspiciously all the time.

I no longer feel safe saying simple things like "Salaam" while greeting my parents when I'm within earshot of other people. When Donald Trump came to power, it shook me up.

More than 100 hindu muslim couples married together in india

When someone with that much power uses it to foster bigotry steer the world towards a holy war under the guise of ensuring safety, it goes beyond geography. It leaves an imprint on humanity in a way that might never quite be reversed.

We're a young couple. We dream of building a house, raising a child and travelling the world together. However, there are a few rituals that are common to most marriages. The Hindu marriage rituals can be broadly classified into pre marriage rituals, marriage rituals and post marriage rituals.

Marriage is the first sacrament in the life of a householder. It will be followed by others such as conception of a child, birth of a child, etc. Pre marriage rituals include a formal get-together of the families on both sides, usually at the bride's place, to facilitate a meeting between the bride and the groom. Once they give their mutual consent, parents proceed with other arrangement such as fixing the marriage date, writing a formal declaration of marriage called the lagna patrika, choosing the marriage hall mandapfinalizing the guest lists, printing the invitation cards, exchanging gifts, and reaching a formal agreement about dowry and duties and responsibilities of both sides during the marriage function, etc.

The common marriage rituals include inviting the bridegroom to the marriage place called mandap, giving away the daughter as a gift to the groom called kanyadan, tying a knot called mangalsutra, holding the bride's hands and accepting her called panigrahan, and walking seven steps together around the fire altar called saptapadi.

All the rituals are performed by a Vedic priest accompanied by appropriate Vedic chants. The marriage is performed in the presence of gods as the witnesses. As in other Vedic sacrifices, Agni, the fire God acts as the primary recipient of the offerings that are made to gods in the marriage. The bride is also one of the offerings.

The Chants which are used in the marriage ceremony are mainly in Sanskrit. However, the priests also use native languages while giving instructions to the groom and the bride during the ceremony to help them perform the rituals, take the oaths or chant the mantras. Common post-wedding ceremonies include, arranging some traditional games between the bride and the groom to increase their playfulness, watching the star Arundhati, sharing a meal, receiving blessings from the elders, family photographs, and driving the bride from the marriage hall to where the groom and his family stay or live.

At the main entrance to the groom's house, the newly married couple are welcomed with traditional aarati. The bride kicks a vessel of food grains that are kept at the entrance of the house, before stepping inside first with her right foot and next with the left foot since right foot is considered auspicious.

The event marks the beginning of the householder's life for the couple. Social dimension Most Hindu marriages are arranged marriages. Even in love marriages, the couple prefer marrying in the traditional style in the presence of their parents and families.

A Hindu marriage is an elaborate social engagement and contract, in which elder on both sides play an important role in fixing the marriage, performing the ceremony and supporting the couple until they settle down. If any disputes arise between couples in the early stages of marriage, the elders usually interfere to save the marriage.

Since elders act as counselors, marriage counseling is not a popular profession in India as it is in the West. Divorce rates in Hindu families are also comparatively less. Most couples stay in the marriage, even if they have problems of compatibility, due to social pressures and family obligations, or to save the reputation of their families. Hindu marriages are governed both by law and by tradition.

Once the couple marry in the traditional manner, it is irrevocable except through a divorce either by mutual consent or by a formal decree from the court.

The legal age for marriages is 18 for females and 21 for males McDonald. Like Muslim arranged marriages, the Hindu culture uses a matchmaker to help find possible matches. Once a match is found and arrangements met, the two families meet to discuss dowry, time, and location of the wedding, the birth stars of the boy and girl, and education McDonald.

During this time, the males of the family huddle in the center of the room, while the perspective couple sits at the periphery of the room and exchange glances.

Arranged Marriages, Matchmakers, and Dowries in India – Postcolonial Studies

If the two families agree, they shake hands and set a date for the wedding McDonald. Most Hindu pre-wedding ceremonies take place on acuta, the most spiritual day for marriages.

how do hindu couples meet

The ceremony often takes place early in the morning, with the male leading the female around a fire punit seven times. During this time she is not allowed to interact with the males of the house, because she is considered pure until the marriage is consummated.

This period of marriage can range from three to six years McDonald. Arranged Marriage Matchmaker in India The traditional arranged marriage matchmaker is called a nayan Prakasa The matchmaker is normally a family friend or distant relative who serves as a neutral go-between when families are trying to arrange a marriage.

Some families with marriageable age children may prefer not to approach possible matches with a marriage proposal because communication between families could break down, and could result in accidental disrespect between the two families Ahmad Matchmakers can serve two functions: As a scout and negotiator, a family sends the nayan into the community to seek possible matches.

Once a match is found, the matchmaker notifies his or her clients and arranges communication through him or her. Communication is facilitated through the nayan until some type of agreement is met.

Depending on the region, an actual meeting between the families takes place, to finalize the marriage agreement, while also allowing the couple to see each other Once a marriage agreement is met, the nayan may be asked to assist in the marriage preparations: The nayan usually receives no pay for his or her services, but may receive gifts: Newspapers, the Internet, television ads, and social conventions serve as the modern nayan Prakasa Indian families in metropolitan cities use the mass media as go-between as a way of bridging cultural gaps, in areas where there may be a small Indian population.

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