We talked to a dating professional about how to save a relationship, whether you' re struggling with distance, infidelity, or working on. My boyfriend Nick and I recently made a new relationship rule: as soon as either of us feels any inkling of a bad mood coming on, we tell each. Recall those early days of your relationship when your partner could not get enough of you. He or she would call constantly, stay on the phone.
Stay away from heavy conversations in stressful times, and especially in the heat of emotion. Calm down, then approach the topic again. Don't just sound off with your concerns; delve to the core of the matter by drawing your partner into the dialogue first. Do something special together. Perhaps you two have a favorite restaurant you haven't visited in ages, or you can return to the place where you first fell in love?
Being in a physical space where you have powerful memories of strong attachment can reignite passion. Or, you can try something you've never tried before. The excitement of something new produces serotonin and dopamine in our brains. It doesn't have to be something extraordinary; even sitting on a park bench watching the children play as you hold hands can be magical if love exists.
The important thing is that you stop talking about taking that vacation, or trying that new spot, and follow through on your intention to reconnect together. Cut out external influences. Often it is outside voices that seep into our private relationships and brew toxicity. Understand who's playing a less-than-positive role in your relationship and commit to keeping that person's energy out! Keep your relationship as private as possible and divulge as little details as you can.
Don't automatically admit your love woes to others. Chances are they don't hold the answers to your problems. Open up the gateways of communication instead and confess your concerns to your partner.
To forgive is to detach -- from the bitterness, anger, and animosity holding you back from progress with your partner.
Forgo the negative emotions keeping you from true forgiveness. Be mindful that forgiveness is a process, not a result, so perform small, daily acts that are reflective of your intent to pardon. Come clean about one thing. We all hold a few secrets that would deeply hurt others if they found out. Certain things should simply be kept to ourselves. But honesty can trigger wonders in your partner's opinion of you.
Admitting one secret or mistake to your partner may make them want to open up, too. Set boundaries with each other. And keep your word! If you set a rule for your partner, set a similar one for yourself as well. This means that if your partner promises not to stay out late on a Saturday, you should abide by the same principle. A relationship is a two-way street.
6 Ways To Save Your Struggling Relationship
Tell your partner honestly what you would like them to do or not dothen be prepared to accept the boundaries they set for you, too. Maintaining a relationship within comfortable bounds avoids arguments, explosions, and setbacks. It aids mutual growth if both partners are respectful toward the other's wishes.
It also promotes a sense of security and trust that each is acting in good faith. While we should never remain in a relationship that jeopardizes our well-being, all relationships will require our earnest effort and compliance with our partner's needs. Not giving up on someone and trying our very best to make it work are honorable tasks to undertake. Use my seven ways to save your struggling relationship and reap the benefits of an unbreakable loving bond.
6 Ways To Save Your Struggling Relationship
To connect with Alexandra Harra on Facebook, click here. For more on personal growth, click here. Suggest a correction MORE: Go to bed 15 minutes earlier or set your alarm 15 minutes earlier to give yourselves time to cuddle before you fall asleep or when you first wake up.
If you see a little something that reminds you of your partner, get it for them.7 Secret Ways To Save Your Relationship
If you feel like making them a special dinner, do it. It creates a feeling of spontaneity and generosity that lasts all year long. Switch up your routine. If you always lay in bed on Sunday morning, go jogging instead.
7 Ways to Save a Struggling Relationship | HuffPost Life
If you always go to happy hour on Thursdays, stay in and make cocktails instead. Take turns planning surprise dates. Switching up your routine keeps you on your toes as a couple and helps prevent the worst enemy of romance: This is so random, but I remember reading a Reba McEntire interview in a dentist office magazine many years ago and it kind of changed my life.
This advice is so simple, and so true. Relationships often take on a negative tinge as people get comfortable with each other. Playful teasing can turn cruel.
Cute habits become pet peeves. Spend a minute looking at each other before bed. October 12, About the Author: